‘old man cologne’ guy

It’s bad when you know a co-worker has arrived at work based on smell.

How can you not notice how freakin’ horrible your stanky-ass old man cologne smells! You’re in your 40’s, not your 70’s! Wash that shit off! NOW!!!!!

I want to know what the hell this guys clients think? I can’t believe anybody would talk to him based on that shit he wears. Good thing he’s on the phone a lot, that way most of his clients will NEVER smell him.

Amd what does your wife think? Has she no sense of smell? It probably was lost the first time she took a whiff of that shit. And your poor young children? Never to smell again, with such long lives ahead of them… You might as well cut the tips of their tongues off too. That way they won’t be able to taste anything either!

Listen. Go to god damn mall, find the most attractive 20-something women at the perfume counter, ask her what the coolest, most hip, best selling cologne is, and buy it. And for the sake of all that is good and right in this word… FUCKING WEAR IT!!!!!! The ozone will thank you.

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