The Dancing Mexican Jehovah’s Witness

Let me start this by saying I have nothing against Mexicans, Jehovah’s Witness, or dancers in general…it’s just this particular one that is driving me insane!

I have been at this job 10 years and I love what I do. I work in a dental lab and it is a very cool job and I have seen my lab grow over these ten years.

So let’s get to the good part. I CANT STAND HIM!!!

Who’s him you ask??

Well, him is a guy name Bob (not actual name) Bob is a guy in his 40’s who is almost 5 feet tall and therefore has “little man” syndrome. He feels he has to compensate for his height by being loud and obnoxious. He sings out loud to almost every song he listens to in his f’ing headphones.

He cant sing so it sounds like shiiiit. Hi pitched squeals of utter, ear piercing shit. He has no idea how annoying it is.

Sometimes I even catch him doing this little bouncy move. He bends at the knees like hes doing a fucking jazzercise move to the beat of his shitty music. I guess this is dancing, but I didnt think he could dance since it was against his religion.

He also has to whistle if his headphones are off.

It’s like he’s afraid of the silence.

He’s also a one upper. What’s a one upper you ask??
Well it’s one of these assholes who listens to a story you are telling and then right when you finish your great story of how you rescued a cat from the tree he breaks in with a story of how he saved a newborn baby from a burning building. Its fucking annoying and he does it every time. If I tell a joke, he can never just laugh, he has to come up another joke right after it.

Heres some advice….just swallow your tongue and choke on it and it will solve all of my problems.

He is also a Jehovah’s Witness, which means he doesnt celebrate holidays, birthdays, or most anything at all. So when we have a birthday cake for a coworker he just stays in the other room by himself. Which Im fine with.

BUT then when everyone has left the break room, he will conveniently go to the bathroom and grab a slice of cake on the way out. Hey..wait a minute pal, isnt that against you religion?? That cake has been cursed by the evilness that is the “birthday celebration” and you will choke on it and die an immediate death.

And then I wake up.

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